Once a proud atheist I am now ashamed to refer to myself as such. I used to believe that atheists were leaders, people at the forefront of society. The truth is that atheists are no more courageous, intelligent or compassionate than your average Joe godist. Less so in many cases.

Atheists are simply people who have swallowed the red pill instead of the blue. They see the world as it really is, without gods, messiahs and angels of mercy. But most atheists remain blind to the future. They are either overly optimistic or stupid, I can never make up my mind which.

One optimistic atheist with whom I've crossed swords believes that because democracy has survived for a while, inevitably it will continue to do so. He forgets that sixty-six years ago an optimist by the name of Neville Chamberlain announced "Peace in our time" and had it not been for the pessimistic Winston Churchill, European democracy would have ground to a halt by 1941. All of Europe would be under Nazi control.

That's how secure democracy is, or isn't.

Since then democracy has hit numerous speed bumps. Since then the world has avoided nuclear war by the narrowest of margins on at least five occasions. Since then Israel, China, Korea, Pakistan and India have obtained the nuclear bomb. Since then Russia has been selling nuclear material to anyone who can afford it. Since then Pakistan has been selling nuclear technology to anyone who can afford it.

Since then we've had New York 9/11, Istanbul, Bali, Madrid – bin Laden and the whole WMD threat.

Since then the USA has seen the introduction of the cynically named 'Patriot Act,' an Act crafted by traitors to undermine the American Constitution and to deprive Americans of their basic rights.

Since then we have witnessed the rise of the 'religious right' which consists of people who are determined to reverse any progress made in the areas of gay rights, birth control, abortion, separation of church and state and stem cell technology.

And yet there are atheists who believe that there's nothing to worry about. Things will sort themselves out. She'll be right, mate. And even those bright enough to notice that the world is going to hell in a handbasket are convinced there's nothing we can do about it. Drop it into the too-hard bin and continue posting weblogs.

People like me are considered to be neurotic and paranoid – all this fuss about a few thousand nuclear warheads on a faulty hair trigger, what on earth is the matter with you? Get over it stupid!

And so I'm no longer a proud atheist, in fact I feel alienated from the people I used to consider friends. I have lost respect for them. If anyone should be alert and aware it is people who have cleared the religious junk from their brains and who now enjoy 20/20 vision. For those people to be more concerned about insignificant local issues than the big issue – survival – is a travesty.

And apart from that, I'm tired of being abused and insulted because I'm trying to do my best – albeit it a puny best – to save the fucking planet!

Nobel Peace Prize nominee Dr Helen Caldicott fears US President George Bush's re-election will lead to Armageddon. "This is the most serious election that has ever occurred in the history of the human race, without a scrap of doubt." "I don't know if we'll survive the next four years ... I don't think the Americans have, on the whole, the faintest idea – and I have to say also I don't think most Australians do either. But it's not just the threat from nuclear war, it's the threat of what's happening to the environment, the global warming which is occurring rapidly now, to ozone depletion, to species extinction, to deforestation – it's the whole thing." Helen Caldicott

So I look around to see if there is anyone in the world apart from Dr. Helen Caldicott who notices how perilous is the global situation, and lo and behold, I discover the Raelians. Led by a Frenchman called Rael they have grasped the peace baton and are running with it. I would love to run with them but alas they have at the core of their religion a monumental stupidity which beggars belief. They claim that Rael befriended aliens from outer space and journeyed with them to a distant solar system. There he learned that "Elohim" visited Earth millions of years ago and kick-started the whole thing.

Frankly I would find it easier to believe in Santa Claus. Raelians point to the first sentence in Genesis and claim, rightly so, that the bible refers to "gods" plural, not "god" singular. But so what? The bible gets everything wrong, why would that particular error in translation prove anything? It's like saying, kids get bikes for christmas don't they? Therefore there must be a Santa Claus.

So I reject Raelism but I have a sneaking admiration for Rael himself. Like L. Ron Hubbard before him he is astute enough to notice that humans are silly creatures who must have something silly to believe in. Without silliness our lives are empty and dull. So just like Hubbard the science fiction writer, Rael has fabricated a bunch of nonsense about aliens from the planet gobbledy gookeldy who have the answers to everything. And people love it!

It'll be interesting to see where Rael goes with his ideas. Will he remain true to his original concept or will he, like Hubbard, develop it to include body-thetans from our past lives which need to be exorcised – like Jesus transferring demons into pigs – and will he charge $25,000 for the exorcism, called auditing?

Rael might be genuine. He might stick to his beliefs and build a huge religion based on global peace. At the moment he's convinced that the human species has at best a 17% chance of surviving the next twenty years. Is he a neurotic paranoid fool like me or simply someone who notices the signs? One thing's for sure, he's far more effective than I am so I wish him and his space groupies every success.

But I'm on my own. I'm not a Raelien and I'm no longer a proud atheist, and yet my outlook remains atheistic. What do I say to people when they ask me what my posture is? I've been invited to speak on talk-back radio, what do I say when I'm asked "Are you an atheist?" That word is so tainted now I can't refer to myself as an atheist.

An atheist is someone who keeps quiet lest he/she should cause offense, someone who lives in fear of incurring people's wrath or disapproval and who fails to notice the bleedin' obvious, namely that the world is facing annihilation.

And it occurs to me that perhaps atheists have always been like that. The people who have most influenced me have not been atheists but deists, men who did believe in god yet who resented the way the bible blasphemes against said god. Also women who quite probably held private religious beliefs but who resented the way men use religion to keep women down.

Perhaps Madalyn Murray O'Hair was the only brave atheist there has ever been. Certainly she is the only one I've heard speaking out against the nuclear threat and Armageddon theology. Perhaps she was a neurotic and paranoid fool like me, but I don't think so. I had the honor of meeting Madalyn Murray O'Hair when she visited New Zealand in 1985 and she impressed me greatly.

"What we see demonstrated in the United States is a fundamentalist desire for an Armageddon, an egging on of President Reagan towards a nuclear holocaust. This will be a fullfilment of bible prophesy." Madalyn Murray O'Hair

She would have had no time for these "everything in the garden is lovely" type atheists. She had a sharp tongue and I suspect she would have advised them to read a newspaper. But O'Hair is gone and there's no one to replace her. We're left with 21st century wimpy feminist style atheists who wouldn't leap in front of a mouse letalone a horse.

There are exceptions to the rule – Richard Dawkins for example, plus a few others – but in the main we're left with apathetic and impotent atheists who will stand by doing nothing until the world goes up in flames.

So from now on I'm a solo universist, that is to say, someone who not only rejects all nonsense about gods, aliens and gremlins but who cares about the future. Someone who tries to be a wake-up call for the dull, the dopey and the deadbrained.

And if I'm pilloried by the ignorant masses who hurl insults, tomatoes and cabbages at me, c'est la vie. I'm not good martyr material but I won't fall into line, I won't be an obedient and subservient atheist.

I'll be the odd one out. That's how it's always been for me so why change now?

I'll take two red pills thanks.

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Bless my soul, I google 'universist' and discover that it's an established "church" of reason, not a million miles removed from where I'm heading with the 'Real Wild Church'. And some of their members seem to be as neurotic and paranoid as me, that is to say, concerned. Further investigation is in order methinks.